JOKES AND FUNNY THINGS

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19 Fun Things To Do In a Public Restroom

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time someone breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh shoot! My glass eye!"

6. Say, "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

10. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters."

11. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?"

12. Say, "Darn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

13. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

14. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

15. Lower a mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

16. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free."


JUDGEMENT DAY

There were three ducks who were being judged in a courtroom. The Judge asks Duck #1, "What were you doing the night of September 14, 2000?" Duck #1 replies casually, "I was blowing bubbles, your honor."

The Judge calls Duck #2 to the stand. He asks, "What were you doing the night of September 14, 2000?" Duck #2 responds, "I was also blowing bubbles, sir." Judge calls Duck #3 to the stand. He says, "Let me guess, you were blowing bubbles, too, right?" Duck #3 answers, "No, your honor, I am Bubbles!"

This is a link to lifelounge It's kinda gruesome but it has some good qualities such as it has little videos that show people getting thrown off bridges for cheating in a race and little old ladies walking her great daine when the dog spots a frisby and goes after it.

a very very good joke

A man walks into his backyard and sees a gorila in his tree. He then calls the gorila control sevice. The service guy gets there and takes out of the back of his van a shotgun, a stick, a chiwawa, and a pair of handcuffs. The man asked what he was about to do and the service guy replied that he would climb up and poke the gorila out of the tree with the stick , then the trained chiwawa would go for the gorila's ,uh, sensitive area and when the gorila instictivly put his hands infront to save himself the man would slap the handcuffs on him. The man then asked what the gun was for . The serviceguy replied , while giving the gun to the man , that if he fell out of the tree first to shoot the chiwawa.

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